Thursday, February 4, 2010

Clarification

So this is SUPER intense. I’m warning you- don’t look on any further if you can’t handle heavy TMI!!!

P.S. this is about Chase. Of course it is.

So I work at a pretty Mormony store and often have crazy spiritual moments at work. It’s weird territory for me but I’ve come to kind of enjoy it. It’s a cool experience for these college years in Utah.

Well everyone asks me about Chase. People, stop already. Well you don’t have to- because I LOVE talking about him and us but I can’t predict the future, people. I don’t wanna have to defend my love for a set apart missionary 24/7.... So recently, whenever my arm is twisted to talk about ‘waiting’, I always say a little prayer before hand so I can speak with peace in my heart.

Well I think I explained it so well yesterday when i was talking to one of my favorite co-workers ever. Of course it will be hard to repeat it in words. It’s been over 12 hours. You can’t expect me to remember. Well actually I am a woman, and I have a memory like an elephant. Well regardless- I won’t be able to say it perfectly.

At THIS point in my life, I’m marrying that man. However, I don’t want to be disrespectful to God. I wanna be willing and open to whatever the Lord teaches me and wherever he takes me. I’m not saying the Lord is out there showing the Isaac’s to Rebecca at the water well but I am going to recognize that He is leading me. Also, relationships are about making choices and actively living your life. And becuase i'm not planning on man-hunting, I see it VERY unlikely to not wait. Chase is the best- gosh I'm so in love with him. And I’ve prayed about my life and such and I know Chase is a righteous man.

At THIS point in our life, I feel the approval. As far as what the Lord has shown me and how he has directed me to my path here, my choice is Chase. But it’s not set in stone. Nothing is- not even engagements (especially at BYU- that’s for sure.) So my heart is with the Lord and Chase. And I can’t ever really see that changing- but I’m not all-knowing. Only our God is.

AND I doubt I’ll be dating at all. That wasn’t my plan at first but after all this mission talk and my decision to serve a mission this summer, dating really isn’t prioritized in my weekly plans. 8 months of no dating drama- ah I look forward to these next couple months.

Ok so does that make sense? Because it does to me. I'm not defending. I'm declaring :)

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