Thursday, July 1, 2010

chocolate turtle sauce

things have been rough, world.
i'm sure i'm extra paranoid because i'm about to turn my papers in but i SWEAR satan is after me. he wants to devour me for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. my brain is a psychological warfare zone and things go wrong and timing seems to be conspiring against me.
well you know what LUCIFER. you can't have me. i spit on you! i know i'm stronger than you and so is the path of righteousness. so kiss it.
however..... some things are harder for me to handle than other..
i.e.
so i'm confused with what's going on with elder cda right now but i'm trying not to totally freak out. communication is often off and there is always a reason for delays. so i'm holding on to that AND holding on to the fact that he is my best friend and i know him and what he would and wouldn't do :)
the unfortunate thing about me is..... is that i get angry in a very weird way. i blame it on kentuckiana.
in private (right when i find out something devastating) i'll cry. or just be sad. crying means something is seriously wrong. but anyways. so first i get sad.
then i get prideful and super cocky and kinda pissed that anyone would make me sad or have control over my emotions like that. so i harden up so fast.

like that chocolate turtle sauce you put on icecream. at first tears are running all over the place. then it hardens and when i harden i get angry. i get ANGRY. i pull away and move on. gratefully i'm not at the pull away part yet. i'm still DECIDING to harden. tears come now and then but i'm very good at being pissed.

it's easier to be mad than sad.

on a happier note. ECLIPSE!!! i'm seeing it AGAIN today. and AGAIN with my mom. and AGAIN with tay :) oh happy day!!!!!!!

1 comment:

Taylor S said...

I'm glad we were able to see Eclipse together.

You are not alone, ever. You are never going to be alone. Never gonna be alone.