now i'm not talking emotionally. apparently physically. i went to my last fitting for my dress today- everything was supposed to be perfect and fit like a glove. literally! it's mermaid and slim-fitting.
well i'm in the dress and getting zipped up. she gets stuck at the bust. no matter how much i suck in, arch my back, or raise my shoulders- that baby is not zipping up. now thank heavens i weighed myself yeserday and actually went down a pound and knew i hadn't gained. BUT i just tried this dress on 2 weeks ago? why wasn't it fitting? what the flagnard? i was trying to hold myself together but i was losing it. she said it wouldn't be a big deal to take out a 1/2 inch in the bust. what??? i've never been told that before. now i'm not looking to boast here or get compliments about how thin i look. but i am scared!!! she said it seems my boobs have grown and asked me if i started birth control recently! oh no! i hate that myth. but i can't deny that the facts. why hasn't the scale increased then? no woman just gains in her chest and not in her face, thighs, or stomach- no matter what they say! unless it was from the hands of a surgeon! i don't believe in women becoming "the victims" of birth control. i wouldn't have it. in fact the past couple weeks i was noticing myself always being hugnry. always. but i just went hungry because i knew physically i just had lunch an hour ago and wasn't malnutritioned or starving and was just fine.
i know it's faux-pas that chase was with me and seeing me in my dress but thank goodness he was with me!!! she said to give her some time and we could go play pool upstairs while she took out the bust. we walk up the stairs and around the corner. then i fell to the couch and start sobbing! chase didn't understand. maybe no one does. all he heard was that my chest was now bigger. he didn't see the downside. i know i'm a big baby and other people have real problems but it was hard for me to swallow. chase just reassured me (but of course he has to say i look bangin' because otherwise he'd be in the doghouse) but i'm glad i know now that my body is susceptible to some serious changes (in just two weeks!!!!) before i lose control of my shape! i called whining to my mom and she just said "you always wanted bigger boobs. this is a good thing." thanks mother dearest.
however, i vow now to be on a strict excercise regiment and food portion scrutiny and other weight watching ways!!! oh my word!!!! it's a good thing i already have a Turbo Kicking session with Annie this evening or i'd be even more paranoid and critical!!! hormonal. very hormonal.