I am 5 weeks plus a couple of finals away from graduation. I cannot wait! I am tired (literally, I sleep 12 hours every night and if I’m lucky, I also take a 2-3 hour nap, too!) Chase is impressed with how much I can sleep and how easily I knock out. This has some to do with this baby- but I’ve always been blessed with sleeping powers. Anyways…. I am tired. Tired of juggling work and school and etc. It will be nice when school can be factored out! Five more weeks, baby! That is me dialoguing with you and my baby. I have started to converse with my baby. Today I was feeling overwhelmed and a little regretful about being pregnant (quite horrible of me.) especially since I (and a lot of professional people and familial people) was/were worried that I would never be able to have children with my health problems…. so I really am soooo grateful that Chase and I are pregnant. But just this morning I was wishing it could all go away. Chase always chastises me and reminds me of how much it will all be worth it - I need to be put in my place- esp with these crazy pregnancy emotions. So I had a little bit of a breakdown. I told Chase, “I feel like no one has been as sick as me.” (which is super high and mighty and self-centered. But that’s who i can turn into- repenting in progress) And he says “that’s probably true. But then again, you’ve been that way your whole life. Sicker than the average.” I didn’t crack a smile on the outside b/c I was feeling snappy and thought his comment was unhelpful. But I was chuckling on the inside b/c it’s true. Why did I think pregnancy would be sick free? This is ME we’re talking about! Well, actually my UC was put in remission with birth control so I had this inkling that all my sicknesses would be put in remission for pregnancy, too. Same hormones in birth control, right? Well that theory has jumped off a cliff.
Anyways. How did I get on this topic again? Every blog post? Oh yeah- because I was telling you that I talk to my baby. So I decided to turn to the scriptures and prayer and I heard some remarkable words of wisdom from God in response. I need to think of my pregnancy as a real baby in there! When I normally think of being pregnant I don’t think of a baby in my belly, I think of the pain in my belly. I need to really try to connect with this baby and put that before the sickness. So I had this little vision (thank you babycenter for jogging my memory during my prayer)
Instead of my usual pregnancy vision (google image not my actual photo) of this
Ok I’m wasting time blogging instead of doing homework. I specifically came to the library so I would focus. Classic.
The original plan I had for blogging was to share the convo I had during my ride with Chase to school. Chase drove me to campus (I love it when he does that!) Finding parking, walking up the stairs, and all that- I just love to avoid it and spend time with Chase instead!
this was not the picture i was going to share but my gmail is being stupid and i can't get the actual picture of us in the car from today. and i just think he is so handsome and love how he towers over me- makes me feel little! and i just wanted to share a picture. and i'm glad i wasted 20 minutes trying to get the other pic.
And on the way we had some good laughs. This week as we’ve been driving around together we’ve seen the craziest people in Provo and Orem. And every time we see these lovely creatures, Chase says “that person comes into chuck-a-rama all the time!” hahahahahah
that’s a quality group of customers you got there!
that’s a quality group of customers you got there!
And most of the time these people are pan handling. They pan handle and then turn around and go eat at chuck-a-rama AKA $13+ for a dinner there. Think twice before they fool you! I’m not saying we shouldn’t give to the poor- but handing out money isn’t always the best way to give. Anyways. These different characters we saw around town are apparently regulars at chuck-a-rama, too!
· This 60 year old crack addict (that was judgmental but I’m just giving you some imagery. No one is that skinny without some drug probs) who was standing there begging for money with her 20 year old boyfriend on a bike. I didn’t think they were together but chase says they come into chuck a lot and make out… all the employees are notified and peak around the corner to see for themselves b/c it is such an outrageous site! That must be appetizing for the other customers that are there to eat…….. there is somebody out there for everyone, I suppose.
· This 80 year old man (no exaggeration) on an old school bicycle with a basket just peddling as slow as possible! He was actually cute and looked sweet. He’s prolly still functioning b/c he exercises on his bike daily!
· This woman dressed a little less to impress and ST-RUT-TING! No exaggeration on the verb to describe the way she was walking. Chest out, left shoulder out, right shoulder out, left shoulder out, right shoulder out, etc.
· The other panhandlers always on university and center st.
· This man walking and talking to himself quite animatedly and looking rather homeless
· And me!! I go to chuck-a-rama to eat, too. And sometimes I go on walks around the neighborhood. so I’m in the group with these clowns! Lately, I’ve quite enjoyed eating at chuck b/c I don’t have to cook and can pick from a variety for whatever sounds good at that exact second and it’s free for me and all the employees tells me how skinny I look (b/c they know I’m pregnant) and I feel huge so I like the compliments!
Ok why am I still typing? When it’s not my homework! I have to get back to work.